But I’m Not Allowed To

I want to be able to tell you how your behavior is negatively affecting me, but I’m not allowed to

I want to be able to put my foot down in an attempt to make you stop, but I’m not allowed to do that

I want to keep speaking up and ‘do the right thing’ but I’m not allowed to do that

I want to keep making sure that I follow protocol as I make my way through t hjh e system in an attempt to get you to stop but I’m not allowed to do that

I want to tell at the top of my lungs to let the world know what you’re doing in an attempt to get you stop but I’m not allowed to do that

I want to keep my mouth shut, so you don’t know my next move but I’m not allowed to do that

I want to tell the world how you weaponize EVERYTHING to use against me, but for many, it’s hard to believe

I want to tell the world about the mental and psychological abuse that you keep throwing my way, but I can’t because it’s so under the radar and invisible to the naked eye, it’s hard to prove

I want people to stop telling me to go for walks, get into nature, to clear my mind, but that’s hard to do knowing the abuse that’s waiting for behind closed doors

I want to stop walking on eggshells but I can’t

I want to live comfortably in my own home but I can’t because of how uncomfortable you’ve made it

I want to be able to express exactly what it’s like living here but I can’t

The freedom to be got taken away from and I don’t know how to get it back

I want to feel safe in my own home but I’m not allowed to