When you’re knee deep in a war you didn’t start

When the silent treatment is being hashed out as a ‘punishment’ over something you didn’t even do

When you remain silent about what’s happening only for the offended party to double down on ‘what’s right’ and how you’re ‘wrong’

And you’re put into a position where you’re ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’

So you go ahead and live how you choose

Silently doing you

Silently doing what’s necessary

Silently doing what’s right

Silently moving forward

Silently just ‘doing’

No fuss

No drawing attention

But refusing to back down

Just silent

When there’s so much to say

But no amount of words can convey the context

Words

So many thoughts

So many experiences

So many expectations

But no amount of words will be able to convey any of it

Because what’s happening in my world isn’t the same as what’s happening in yours

Because the results you expect with the advice you give isn’t feasible

It’s already been tried

Multiple times

Multiple ways

Because situations sometimes fall through the cracks

And this is one of them

Where things SHOULD be covered

But aren’t

Where excuses are being made for people when they shouldn’t be

Where context is important

But is overlooked

Because words are taken as face value

When grace is needed

But judgements are passed instead

When action (and help) is needed most

But watching from afar is preferred

Because words can only convey so much

Even if you THINK you have a pretty good idea of what’s happening

Without taking into account the actions or mindset of the other parties involved

Because they have a bigger impact than you think they do

Just because YOU ‘walk the line’

Doesn’t mean ALL individuals do

For when you see where others are coming from (you don’t necessarily need to understand the reasoning behind it)

It changes how you react

Because words mean nothing if you don’t see the context or ‘the other side’

I found mine

And I’ve discovered people don’t like it

I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve been labeled difficult

But I don’t care

If advocating for myself makes you uncomfortable

If setting boundaries makes you question my motives

If standing firm and holding my ground makes me the bad guy

Then the problem isn’t me

I’d rather speak up and speak out

Being the ‘nice one’ is overrated if results in you in being someone else’s punching bag

Label me as difficult

Label me as overreacting

Label me as ‘the problem’

It only reinforcing I’m right in taking a stance and using my voice

You’ve already attempted it once

You started a fire

Then stood in the flames claiming you were the victim

I am very aware you’re mad at me

And it’s over something YOU did

But you’re using smoke and mirrors

Trying to deflect and project

I have no interest in going down that road

Nor fanning the flames of the fire you started

Make as many attempts as you want to draw me in

I refuse to participate

Spin it however you want

It’s not going to change it

You got called out

Multiple times

And you’re going to keep getting called out

Not obnoxiously

That’s you’re department

You can disliking me

I’m not going to go out of my way to change your opinion of me

There’s no point

Your mind was made up long before you started a war over something you did

I have no interest in participating in your war

No matter how many times you try to draw me in

You can rephrase it however you want

You can leave out part of the story

You can throw in an accusation to divert attention

It’s still a lie

It was obvious you were up to something

Your behavior changed

It always changes right before you do something big

And it’s usually something that will attempt to draw a reaction

A reaction that ends up with YOU accusing ME of being crazy and mentally ill

Which is exactly what happened

You knew what you were doing when you did it

I knew it the second I saw the plan in full motion

You didn’t like me flipping the tables as your plan was still in action

So you tried to change the narrative as things weren’t going the way you wanted

You intentionally left things out

And you threw in an accusation of what lead up to the confrontation

One that was a total lie

There’s evidence to back me up

I refused to budget

Neither did you

So you made another attempt about 2 hours later

One that was meant to continue the attempt to draw another reaction

Because if it did, you could still claim that I was the crazy one

But it went nowhere

So you made one more attempt as you walked away

And another one an hour later

The passive aggressive behavior is there

You can claim it’s ME that’s the problem

When it’s just YOU projecting

But no matter what it called it

It’s not going to change what it ACTUALLY is

A lie is still a lie

And your ‘story’ of events started with one

There’s a silence that’s starting to happen

One that feels different

A silence where you can sit in peace and actually hear yourself think

Where the background noise intentionally caused by others has taken a temporary hiatus

Background noise that’s meant to disrupt, disregulate and create chaos

Background noise that’s meant to discombobulate, threaten and coerce

Because behavior that is passive aggressive and meant to make you uncomfortable is harder to prove

Where the reason for it is petty

But then the silence hits

Because the passive aggressive behavior has been put on hold

But this time, the silence that follows is different

Because even though behavior can speak for you and be extremely loud without uttering a word

The silence that follows can say just as much

Will it last?

Probably not

For the individuals involved don’t like it when you don’t react to their pettiness

They’re out for blood and insist on taking you out for something they got called out on

Projection may speak for you as you try to place blame on someone else for your actions

But it won’t speak for me

I’ll take the silence and the quiet road

It exists somewhere

A land where you live in peace

Where there’s help when you need it

A place to stay that feels like home

And comes with an abundance of food

Where nothing is ever wasted

And mental health is never an issue

Where people treat each other with love, respect and dignity

Where hate, gaslighting and lying don’t exist

And you get banished if you intentionally create trouble

Where passive aggressive behavior is snuffed out before it even has a chance to take root

It exists somewhere

Even if the path to get there isn’t always easy to find

If it exists at all