islandofmisfitmamas

Thermostats, Locks and Lights: Digital Tools of Domestic Abuse

I’m not the first one to experience this. I won’t be the last. I was seen as crazy. After all, why would someone intentionally do something so slight? It’s just a thermostat. A degree here, a degree there. It shouldn’t have made that big of a difference in things. With my situation, it got toContinue reading “Thermostats, Locks and Lights: Digital Tools of Domestic Abuse”

I Saw The Difference

And I wasn’t sure if I was the only one When RONA did their Kids DIY workshop for moms (building a planter), I noticed kids trickling in with an adult. While the kids trickled in, it wasn’t a busy kinda trickle. There was still plenty of space at the tables. When RONA did the exactContinue reading “I Saw The Difference”

Silence

It can speaks more about a person’s pain than anything else As words often fail And no one wants to listen So silence ensues And the victim takes a step back Letting the silence speak for them The pain The recovery The healing All done away from the public eye I’d rather heal away fromContinue reading “Silence”

Error 404: Page Not Found

No matter how many times you try The person you’re trying to reach no longer exists Trauma changed things The perspective you’re viewing the situation with is flawed The image you’re viewing is just that: an image The behaviour you’re viewing is a symptom The cries you’re hearing for help don’t speak the full storyContinue reading “Error 404: Page Not Found”

‘Just Walk Away’

To react is to induce To ignore is to engage So much goes into the dynamic of a relationship with a narcissist One that is difficult to explain with words One fraught with nuances Where the narcissist demands complete control But when you REFUSE, it’s seen as a direct challenge Because how dare you threatenContinue reading “‘Just Walk Away’”

The Fence

The one that’s been dividing all parties involved Where, on one side, you’ve had your entire world shattered by abuse Where you’ve been forced to start over Where, if you’re lucky to get out in one piece, you have to defend your actions for ‘staying’ as long as you did The fence where, on theContinue reading “The Fence”

Why I Don’t Celebrate Mother’s Day

I have 3 children Only one is living The last 3 years have been the roughest 3 years for both of us From surviving psychological abuse to being thrown in cramped living quarters just to keep from living on the streets From completely losing what little support we had to trying to navigate a worldContinue reading “Why I Don’t Celebrate Mother’s Day”

Some Cages Don’t Have Bars

You carry them in your head To break free of that cage is next to impossible by oneself Unless you’ve sat in that cage Unless you’ve felt it’s talons grip the brain Unless you’ve heard that lock click shut Unless you’ve tried every key to break the lock open Unless you’ve tried every crowbar toContinue reading “Some Cages Don’t Have Bars”

The Trauma Conversation: Physical

Where to even begin… This is only the tip of the iceberg From the difficulty with sleep (both falling and staying asleep) To the random lightheaded essay (even after eating) From the constant fatigue To the increased headaches and migraines But the one that bothers me the most is the anxiety attacks. They hit randomlyContinue reading “The Trauma Conversation: Physical”

The Trauma Conversation: Behavioral

The red flags are there They’ve been there for awhile But with no support system, they go unnoticed From avoiding places because of the memories associated with it To avoiding attending certain activities because there are individuals there who closely resemble the abuser From withdrawing from certain social activities because social interactions no longer areContinue reading “The Trauma Conversation: Behavioral”