I’m sure I’m not the only one who deals with bouts of insomnia. I started dealing with another bout a few days ago and I’m hoping this round doesn’t last very long.

A few years ago, I began refusing to use a clock in the bedroom. I do use my smart phone as an alarm clock, but it’s muted during the overnight period so I’m not being woken up by any unexpected phone call or message. I’ve discovered that if I have a visual of the time during a bout of insomnia, it causes my anxiety to flair and makes the insomnia worse. When insomnia hits, I am already very aware of how little sleep I am getting. I don’t need a clock to tell me how little sleep I am getting or how much longer I have to attempt to fall back asleep before the alarm goes off. I’d rather have peace of mind and attempt to divert my mind to thinking of more pleasant things. My anxiety is already bad enough as it is and I don’t need insomnia making it worse – or vice versa.

When you’ve been hit with a bout of insomnia, what are some of your favourite was of handling it?

When we lived in Ohio, we lived just over an hour away from an outlet mall. It was one we’d like to frequent whenever we needed a drive or if we wanted a quick detour to/from a trip to Columbus. Over time, while the majority of stores seemed to shift to ‘exclusive outlet only’ product, there was a children’s clothing store (Carter’s/Oshgosh B’gosh) that we liked to visit. Initially, it was like all the other stores at the outlet, but it eventually turned into an actual outlet store and sold clearance merchandise that was marked with an additional percentage off (the last time we visited, the entire store was an additional 70% off). As a result, we’d make a habit of selling any clothing my son had outgrown, then turn around to head up to the Carter’s outlet a few days later and get a whole new wardrobe for resale store prices. It may have been a long trip, but we made a day of it: we’d pack a lunch to eat up there (they had several outdoor eating areas), do some shopping, play on their outdoor playground before heading home and playing at a playground closer to home.

Since moving here, deals are harder to come by. There is a clearance warehouse sale close to where we live (happens twice a year) that we’ve hit up and have gotten a few things at a pretty good price, but no major finds yet.

What are some of your favourite places to visit that help you save money?

The support system that we had in the U.S. was minimal at best. Those who could help chose not (they couldn’t be bothered because ‘they had better things to do’). Then there were those who wanted to help but couldn’t because of extremely busy schedules. Hence, one of the major reasons we decided to move.

While it may have taken a few months longer than expected (due to delays beyond our control), we were finally able to enroll our son in Kindergarten. Within a month, the ball had started rolling about getting him the assistance he needed regarding speech – something we would have had to jump through hoops to get in the U.S., as well as put ourselves into medical debt for. The support system is now in place to get him the help he needs so that he can thrive as he grows.

However, the support system that I need is still lacking. While it may be better than it was, it’s still not where it needs to be. When you’re on the outside looking in, there’s still a lot that others aren’t seeing and it gets frustrating trying to explain it repeatedly. The running of the entire household is still on my shoulders, and the mental load that comes with. Getting assistance to do basic things (like laundry or dishes) is non existant. Yes, my son helps and it’s extremely helpful, but to have an extra pair of hands would definitely go a long way. To even think about a night out, either on my own or with others, is only a pipe dream at the moment.

Since inflation has hit many families hard, what are some of your favourite go to’s for saving money and making it stretch further?

Over the past few years, while living in the States, I’ve used apps like Ibotta, Receipt Hog and Checkout 51. Stores like Target and Kroger have apps that I would utilize for digital coupons. Target even has a program where you earn 1% back on purchases and spend those earnings on anything in store. Each week, Kroger would always have certain items at a deeply discounted price, known as Wekly Digital Deals. For example, they would have bacon listed as a weekly deal. Normally, it would cost $10 for bacon, but if it was part of the weekly deals, they priced it at $4.99. Needless to say, if it was shelf tstable or if we went through it quickly, we’d stock up.

Since moving back to Canada, finding the same sort of deal with store loyalty programs has been interesting. While we use PC Optimum and Husky Rewards, it’s not the same. Not all of the money saving apps that were avilable in the States are available in Canada. While there may be apps like Too Good Too Go and Flash Food, they’re still relatively new (I like waiting for kinks to be worked out when dealing with something new before trying it). I’ve also noticed the sales in Canadian grocery stores aren’t always as good as those in the U.S.

What are some of your favourite ways to save on everyday essentials?

You may have seen the story floating around: the pregnant wife of an MLB player was made to clean up the mess of their youngest child while on a flight. A fury of responses followed as sides were taken. Some agree with the MLB player, as there’s a cleaning crew specificly responsible for cleaning the cabin after passngers depart. Others disagree, as it should be the parents responsibilty to clean up after their own kids and it shouldn’t be placed in the hands of others.

Full Story: Blue Jays Pitcher Slams United Airlines After He says Pregnant Wife was Forced to Clean on ‘hand and knees’

I’ve worked in retail since 2011. This has included working in a children’s clothing store, where parents would bring their little ones with them. There was the occasional tantrum, meltdown or small mishap, but the children were usually well behaved. Occasionally, there was one who would reek havoc in the store, but it wasn’t often. There was one specific one that I remember quite distinctly. A mother was in with her little one. As she was roaming the store looking for clothes for her little one, he was left to his own devices. Atone point, he had his sights set on one table that was primarily set with shirts. He managed to completely obliterate the display after he got his hands on it and the staff, myself included, were left to clean up his mess as his mom chose to ignore the mess. While the MLB player in question may have had his concerns about the airline staff making his wife clean a mess caused by his child, I honestly believe it was within reason for them to do so. I have a 5 year old and there is no way I would make someone else clean up a mess my child made. From my standpoint, it’s a good time to teach personal responsibility (if the child is old enough to understand). If the child makes th e mess, the child should help clean the mess (with the parents help).

As it stands right now, my husband and I live apart. It’s not by choice, though. In early fall of 2022, my husband assisted as my son and I moved from southwest Ohio to southern Ontario (I’m Canadian, as is our son). Until he becomes legal, my husband still lives in the States. For Easter weekend, my husband visited. While the visit went well, it wasn’t until he left early Tuesday morning that an ugly truth reared it’s head.

We do have a better support system up here than we had in the States, but it’s still not where it needs to be. There are individuals who are willing to watch my son when needed, even if it’s only during times on certain days (most of those who are willing to help do work during the week, so help watching him is limited to weekends and the occasional weeknight). The biggest thing, though, is help around the house. Yes, my son does help (he’s 5 and we have encouraged him to help when he shows an interest). However, when the vast majority falls on my shoulders, the mental toll it takes on you can sometimes become overwhelming. That extra pair of hands can be extremely helpful and gives that extra breather that has been missing (and needed). So when that extra pair of hands disappears, it puts that extra mental load back on you. The extra work isn’t necessarily the problem. It’s the extra mental that you’re now required to carry again because there’s no one else available to help ease the load as you now go back to juggling it all while trying to find time for yourself.

When I had my son in 2017, little did I realize how big of an issue maternal health actually was. With as many as 1 in 5 women suffering from a maternal mental health disorder, such as postpartum depression, it is a serious health issue that needs to be openly discussed. With the sigma associated with any mental health disorder, there are campaigns to help destigmatize the subject. With too many individuals suffering in silence, voices need to be heard. If you, or someone you know, has a possible mental health issue, please seek support. Resources like The Blue Dot Project is a good way to start. No individual should be afraid to ask for help.