Do you want to talk about it?

Or do you want to ignoring it?

There are issues that keep getting brought up

But they keep getting denied as even an issue

Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil

So, therefore, it doesn’t exist

Even if it does

And it’ll keep getting brought up

No matter how many times you try to sweep it under the carpet

No matter how many times you try to pin it on something else

The truth exists

It’s buried under a pile of lies you keep telling yourself

Yes, it’s uncomfortable

For all parties involved

But the elephant in the room needs to be addressed

Perceptions and misconceptions need to be addressed

It’s resulting in innocent people getting mistreated

Learn to read the room

Learn to read the situation

Read between the lines

When your child believes you can change the world

When their innocence sees the possibilities

But when the world looks at you, they base their view on perceptions that aren’t accurate

And keep hammering away on what can be done based in their experiences

But your reality is hampering what you can do and achieve

Because someone dug your hole for you and every way out has been blocked

And no matter how loud you try to express your viewpoint

No matter how loud you try to get your point across

No matter how many times you try the ‘solution’ others give you

It gets you nowhere

When I can see what the problem is

When I can see how we got here

When the way out isn’t black and white

But the world is telling you it is

When you need a hand up

But you’re seen as trouble instead, looking for the easy way out

When the great divide is there

But the fear is that something bad is going to need to happen before somebody actually believes me

Through devious means

My voice got stolen

Through devious means

You made sure to hide where you hid my voice

Through devious means

You made sure you came out on top

Through devious means

You made sure that you held the upper hand

Through devious means

You shined

Because you knew the ins and outs of how to make yourself look good

Through devious means

You got your way

But you will not silence me

Through devious means

You stole my voice

But you’re not keeping it

I will keep speaking up

I will reclaim my voice

I know what you did

When there are things you are grateful for

But yet know they can be taken away in an instant

When you’re being told be thankful for what you have

But when what you have is on the verge of disappearing

When there’s a fine line between knowing you need to be grateful for what you have

But knowing that what you have can disappear tomorrow because of the actions of someone else

When the lines blur

When your walking the fence

When you see both sides

When you’re being told to be grateful

When ‘others have it worse’

But you know it’s not a competition

And you know it shouldn’t be a comparison

For when you’re grateful for what you have

But can yet yearn for it to be better

Because while there’s a lot to be grateful for

It doesn’t ease or take away the fear that still exists because of the hand you’ve been dealt and the consequences that comes with it

Because while ‘others may have it worse’

And it doesn’t take away from the trauma of your specific situation

Because while there’s still a lot to be grateful for

You always have the right to ask for it to be better

Because no one knows the hell you’ve been dragged through just to get to the other side

When you’re in the trenches trying to get out

When you see the climb ahead up the mountainside

When you need a hand up

When you’ve been dragged through hell…

When you’ve attempted every single avenue to seek help…

When access to resources has been reduced…

When roadblocks keep getting plopped in front of you…

When it’s one step forward, but two steps back…

All while trying to raise a child

Without a support system

With the expectation that I need to move forward

Without a way to access much needed services to heal

That a ‘bounceback’ is just a matter of ‘pulling up the boot straps’

All while trying to navigate an unbeaten path

When mental health is an issue

When you still need to move forward despite having no more fumes to run on

When auto pilot shut off awhile ago

When the psychological abuse was real but it’s being implied that it didn’t happen or it ‘wasn’t that bad’

When you’re stuck treading under water and trying not to drown but the safety floatation device gets thrown in the opposite direction

When your reality clashes with incorrect perceptions and misconceptions

When you slowly start to disappear

When you see the bridges that are getting burned

When the signs of trouble are there

Because behavior should be seen as a symptom

Of a deeper problem

And it NEEDS to be addressed

But it gets misconstrued instead…

…because they’d rather believe the images and misconceptions

Not all evil is visible

Ask the ones who speak of it and live with the invisible scars

First star I see tonight

Wish I may, wish I might

Have this wish I wish tonight

A simple rhyme

But one that held great promise for a child who needed a way to ask for something big

One that was made at night, when the stars would shine bright

Trying to hold out hope for something that was greatly needed

Only if, as an adult, we can make do that same wishful thinking

For there are many of us, myself included, who desperately need the help

Who are hoping beyond hope that something finally gives

That a corner will finally be turned

Because the exhaustion is too much

The burnout is real

The burning of the candle at both ends has finally met in the middle and all that is left is a pool of wax

There are no more fumes for the car to run on

But yet perceptions and misconceptions keep obscuring the reality of the situation

The disparity of those in the trenches and those who aren’t keeps growing

Closing that gap keeps getting harder

Unless you’ve lived it

Experienced it

Tried to leave it behind

Wishing on stars comes next

Because at least they don’t invalidate your trauma

Like Queen Elsa said ‘The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside’

The weather this winter has matched my internal dialogue

There’s a snowfall at least once a week

There are some weeks where it’s every other day

Tonight, there’s a snow squall outside outside our window

It may not set a record this year

The ground hog may even be right this year and we’re in for several more weeks of the fluffy stuff

But it’s definitely matching the internal dialogue

‘My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast’

When the weather matches your mindset and you just want it to stop