It can take years to earn, but only a second to crumble

It can happen so suddenly, that once it’s gone, you wonder if it’s worth earning it back

A whole new outlook is presented

Just because you lose trust in someone important, the ripple effect that it now has on everyone around you

The new way of thinking suddenly becomes: ‘Trust no one’

If someone you knew and trusted wholeheartedly suddenly breaks that trust, there’s no going back

There’s the option of starting over,but is it worth it if all you can think of is how you were betrayed?

In their mind, they may have been thinking they were doing the right thing. But it reality, the decision backfired and trust was lost

You now look at everyone differently

Trying not to

But the trust is broken

And so is the view of the shattered world that follows

All because I reached out

And no one wants to believe me

#behindcloseddoors

I’ve tried

I reached out

I reacted

I argued

I tried explaining

I took all the right steps

All I got in return was silence

If it wasn’t silence, it was retaliation

So, withdrawal it is

It doesn’t exist

For the few that have one, it’s an anomaly

It’s rough

There are days where reminders are needed to just put one foot in front of another, to just breathe

Asking for help has proved futile

It’s one thing to listen, but it’s completely different to actually be heard

I could rattle off for hours what I need, but would it even sink in?

It’s a very personal decision

Forgive the one who hurt me?

Forgive the ones who choose to walk away, but want back in?

A notion pushed upon an individual by society

Forgiving the narcissist won’t bring closure

Forgiving his enablers and flying monkeys won’t bring peace of mind

Forgiving those who walked away won’t heal the wounds that were left behind when they chose to leave

Forgiveness is pushed, forced and coerced. It is not my responsibility to appease a guilty conscience.

…the sun will be shining

At the end of the tunnel, there will be a light

There’s always a silver lining

You can throw all the proverbial positive sayings you want, but when you’re drowning in all the negativity that a narcissist throws at you, looking on ‘the bright side’ doesn’t come easy

Survival mode kicked in quite awhile ago and until we’re in a safe spot…

People are people

How one can act like so malicious towards another will always baffle me

To bully, harass, treat others like dirt…

…and not feel guilty for it

I could ask a million different ways, a million different times, and I know I’ll never get a straight answer

To say things happen for a reason isn’t something that one likes to hear when they’re in a difficult situation. A human should NOT have to be put through something and told it’s happening for a reason. By the end of it all, lives will have altered. And not necessarily for the better…

The end of the road

Light at the end of the tunnel

The day will come

Unless you’re living it, empty words offered have no meaning

It’s been a roller coaster of emotions for months

Dealing with a narcissist has a tendency to bring out the worst in you

The biggest thing I’ll be walking away with is anger

And there’s a lot of it

I’m angry that this is happening to my son and I

I’m angry that the world seems to refuse to believe me

I’m angry that I’m basically left to my own devices to find a way out

I’m angry that I’ll have to start over from scratch – with very little or virtually no support

I’m angry that I was targeted period. All because I stood up for myself

I have a feeling the anger will be around for awhile

It’ll be utilized to facilitate the healing process

But it’s there.

I’m aware of it

It will not break me

I started the day with a migraine

I ended up taking medicine for it

My son asked why but I couldn’t tell him

I knew you were upstairs eavesdropping

If I had told him I had a migraine, you would have made the rest of the day a nightmare with a substantial increase of noise

I ended up having to lie down a lot, just to keep the pain to a minimum as the medication wasn’t doing its job

My son wanted to play, but I couldn’t

I had to explain to him quietly (so that you wouldn’t hear) that I couldn’t because my head hurt

I shouldn’t be afraid to tell my kid I’m sick

I shouldn’t be afraid that you’ll hear me

I shouldn’t be afraid that you’ll make things worse because you know I’m not feeling well

I shouldn’t be afraid to speak in my own apartment

I shouldn’t be walking on eggshells because of you

I know I’m enemy no. 1

All I had to do was say no

I’ll gladly stay your enemy

I’d rather stand up to you and remain enemy no. 1 than be a punching bag

Scars fade

My self worth won’t

You drew the line, than dared to cross it

I have mine, and to many, it’s so out in left field that it comes across as unbelievable

It’s definitely an unique one, but it’s not any less real

A narcissist neighbor. One who is obsessive. Malignant. Malicious. Covert. Sly. Cunning. Charming. A wolf in sheep’s clothing.

And the whole thing took off when I found out he was fiddling with the thermostat and HVAC system. His mask came off not too long afterwards. And he’s been trying to keep his control ever since.

Psychological warfare.

This only way I know how to describe it.

Everything happens behind closed doors. No physical evidence left behind. Only invisible scars. Anything that gets brought up can be easily explained away as something else. Only for things to get worse as he sinks in his heels. All because I had the audacity to stand up to him.

The day will come where the truth I speak is verified.

Until then, the narcissist will keep doing his dirty work behind closed doors. Using his enablers and flying monkeys to do his dirty work. Making me out to be tbe bad guy.

It’s only a matter of time…

The universe is watching…